Leaving social media for good?

*Before you say this sounds “hypocritical” to speak about, I wanted to say that I only use Instagram to promote the blog. I have not used Instagram for personal entertainment.*

A couple of months ago, I was at a low point. With the pandemic and hearing all the chaos in our society, I was just engulfed in all of it that I could barely breathe. We can only handle a certain amount of information about many issues before we start to mentally deteriorate; unfortunately, I reached that place. One night, there was a video posted by one of my new favorite YouTubers, Jordan Hawkins, that inspired me to delete all the social media apps off my phone. Here’s the video down below!

After watching this video, I was just amazed how there could be a life without social media (well no der it’s been like that all the time before the 1990s). Then I just went down a rabbit hole of videos where people were just off the platforms themselves and felt that social media no longer served them anymore. It inspired me to turn off the noise for a while. At that point, I felt that it was time to just get off. My gut was saying, “Something seems off every time you pick up that phone to scroll through social media,” and it was right. So that very night, I just deleted Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram off my phone. Deleting the apps off the phone and having a clean slate into something different was a new venture.

The experience

In all honesty, it was not the easiest process. With any addiction, there is a high probability of relapse and starting the process all over again. There were times where I thought if someone reached out, it seemed like I was ghosting them or there was a moment where I’m missing something crucial about the world. However, I realized that was just my propagandized mind convincing me to believe this when in actuality, it was quite the opposite. It sounds sad to hear those thoughts, but more on that later on!

After a couple of days, I was bored out of my mind. I was always watching YouTube videos or doing homework, but those specific tasks became monotonous really quickly. I had to think about the best way to mentally reset from the need to pull out my phone to pass time. I always had this bookshelf with books I bought yet never thought about reading. So, I just started reading books from great authors, authors that were visionaries and had so much perspective to offer to the world. Next thing you know, I have this super long TBR list that’s still growing because there are so many voices I want to hear.

After reading a couple of books, I took on an interesting hobby: writing down all my thoughts in a blank notebook. When English teachers say that reading and writing have a symbiotic relationship, they weren’t kidding! Reading and writing became therapeutic for some odd reason because I remember dreading it in high school for assignments. Now I realized, I hated reading and writing about ideas that did not interest me and for a grade that would not affect me 10 years down the line.

When you read books that cause you to think about things in a new light, you can’t help but think about how writers have this perspective about certain themes and why this is important to understand. When writers write their book(s), they share what they have to offer to the world: thoughts/ideas about the human experience. Then when you write, you are putting those ideas onto paper to formally articulate thoughts and opinions. I don’t know about you, but after writing out any deep thought was eye-opening because another thought would pop in and cause this snowball effect. I think I was able to fill up three pages worth in one sitting, which was something I could not do for a psychology paper that was due in a few days. This time away from social media allowed creativity to flourish and I found that rewarding!

When I went out with friends (in a safe manner), two things occurred.

• I was okay with lagging behind on the social trends. Sometimes, my friends would talk about certain topics that they saw on Instagram or TikTok and I had no idea what they were talking about. It sounds like it hurts to be left out in those kinds of conversations, but I learned a lot about how influential the media has been on us as humans; that was a win in my book!
• I don’t feel the need to post about my time with them. It felt natural to just immerse yourself into the conversation in order to connect instead of the superficial connection of posting a picture/video about the hangout itself to other people who weren’t there. I understand the “making memories” aspect of it all, but it seemed to ruin the natural flow of being present. To fully sit down and have meaningful conversations with people I care about meant more than letting people know through the Internet what I was up to.

Now when I see people do it habitually, it makes me question what relationship I would want with my phone from now on.

What I learned

I know it sounds like I’m a cynic for social media. Don’t get me wrong, social media in moderation has many advantages in itself like having a mini escape from reality or idly passing time. However, there are some things we should be aware of that hides beneath the surface if we let social media consume us.

Sadly, we are addicted and distracted.

Yes, we are (or at one point have been) attached to social media. When there is a dull moment in life, we easily gravitate towards social media for entertainment. When we feel alone, we could watch someone’s day through a quick video to feel as if we were really there. So readily available from a click away.

To be quite honest, I don’t blame you for being addicted to social media. Social media has been designed to entice us and have us consume as much as we can. Look at the format of the apps, the number of times new content is available, and even the simplicity in navigating through the app. If you haven’t watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix, I highly recommend this to look further into the relationship humans have formed with technology and the potential long-term effects it can generate. Technology should be used as a tool to engage in human connection outside the platform, not overtake our own lives to sacrifice human interaction.

Projected Living > Present Being

There were times where I would walk around and find people trying to dress or pose a certain way towards a camera. Just the other day, there was a woman who had to shift between many different poses in front of the Beverly Hills sign and there was someone who had to take multiple photos of her. Sometimes, I wonder why people would need to look good for the ‘gram and post it instead of just embracing the moment itself. It’s similar to the idea of a Black Mirror episode called “Nosedive.”

When social media dominates our lives, there is this unspoken pressure to project your life in a certain way to feel somewhat validated. The photos that are “candid” are sometimes not really candid. The caption could only be a certain length or it has to be really witty. There has to be a specific way to take a photo of yourself or otherwise, it won’t look as appealing. You could only post once in a while and posting too much elicits you wanting more attention. It seems like we worry about the smallest things in order to feel seen on a digital screen, even though surprisingly we will not actually remember it at all once we log off.

Since we are projecting this idea of ourselves, I would not be surprised when down the road, we might even question our true selves because we have this persona we show others and the one we hide. It is concerning since this may cause cognitive dissonance where we believe the digital version of ourselves, but our actions behind the screen say otherwise. We could post that we are enjoying our time when we might actually feel alone around other people or that we are not as joyful as we seem to be.

I guess what I am trying to say is that when we let social media dictate how we present ourselves to the world, it makes us stray away from our own reality. It takes away the valuable moments we will miss with the people we care about. It robs us of being human in general.

Amplified Upward Comparison

There was a concept that I learned in my social psychology class about the social comparison theory: we all have this innate ability to compare ourselves in relation to others who are either ahead or behind us. I believe that social media supports this theory really well when it comes to upward comparison. We are all living life, but given that we are different in terms of life experiences, it is inevitable that we define “life” differently. This raises ambiguity and we start to question if what we have going on in life is even normal. We then want to feel reassured that this is the right path, which may cause a tendency to compare our own lives to others. With social media, this is amplified to the extreme because there are a plethora of individuals you will compare yourself to, some of who you may never have met before. It’s not only your inner circle of connections anymore. It’s also the millions of people out in the world where you might have to unrealistically measure your success with theirs.

This is where the danger lies. For one, we are comparing ourselves to the positive aspects of people’s living without recognizing the life behind the picture. It’s dangerous to assume also that the person is doing great when in actuality, there may be an internal battle the individual is currently facing. Two, it blocks us from finding what’s true for our journey. Seeing someone enjoying life while we are suffering could subconsciously breed envy and self-doubt.

Instead of comparing ourselves to someone’s so-called reality, we should compare ourselves to the person who we were yesterday. We should have the autonomy to discover our own path without having to question our own abilities relative to someone else’s path! That’s what makes everyone unique in their own way :)

Exposure to ideas that are not logically supported or breed toxic behaviors and mindsets

Lately, I find it odd how people are so readily susceptible to believing facts from the media than conducting their own research. Someone recently told me a “psychology” fact. Being the psych student, I asked her how is this a fact and where the source is. She said that she got it from TikTok when the person who posted it did not provide credible resources or resources at all.

Somehow defying logic is acceptable on social media, which spreads misinformation and causes more chaos than there should be. We are trusting a platform to tell us information when we should question and conduct the research (if any) behind the information. That is what we are taught in school all the time. Knowing this, we are exchanging skepticism with compliance in terms of seeking knowledge.

It is also appalling to even hear how certain trends are actually trends or how there is a disconnect between an influencer’s online presence versus an influencer’s true character. Social media has open access to post, comment, or even share other content. Just because there is open access, does not mean you are free from responsibility. It does beg a question as to what extent are social media influencers responsible for their behavior online? I think Prince Ea has said it best: “A lot of people call themselves ‘social media influencers but you’re influencing people to do what? Is it to reach a level of beauty that is not attainable naturally? Is it to have people lust after cars or material objects that will never bring somebody true happiness?”

Final Words

It is inevitable that we have to use social media at some point, whether it is for updates within your organization, or we need to use it for our business. However, if one decides to use social media for personal entertainment, I believe that we should take a step back and observe the relationship we have with social media. There should be a balance between consuming social media and making time in our lives to simply live without it.

Once I came back to see if social media has changed, I realized it has and it hasn’t. I realized that content is always changing. There are different trends happening every single day, which is hard to keep up with. On the other hand, social media has not changed because the overall message I noticed is that we will never be enough with just being on there. We will always miss out on something; we will always have to validate other people online that we still exist. This would cause us to think of the “next big thing” to keep the numbers up and to stay in the loop where an algorithm dictates who sees our content. At the end of the day, there is a conscious decision we have to make: (a) live your life in accordance with other people’s expectations on an ideal life or (b) create the ideal life you envision for yourself and only for your enjoyment.

Let me know your thoughts! Were there some things you noticed when you took a social media break? Would you consider living life without social media?